Read on for the full review, and there may be spoilers (although if you’ve seen the previews, you’ve pretty much seen the movie).

In Twilight, we have this attractive girl named Bella, who is uprooted from sunny Phoenix to go live with her dad in Forks, WA because her mom is touring the country with her new husband who plays minor league baseball. For some reason Bella feels like she is a misfit and doesn’t fit in. The viewers never get to see why though, because the Bella character is so 1-dimensional. She has two goals in life, and that is to become and vampire and stay with Edward. No hopes, no dreams, no identity whatsoever. And of course Edward likes the idea, since he’s an 109 year old pedophile and to him girls are supposed to be subservient without any desires outside of the home.

Vampires in this world have all the good abilities of vampires that we know and love, and none of the weaknesses. Crosses, garlic, holy water, reflections in mirrors and even sunlight do not affect this vampires. Edward’s “family” decided long ago to become some sort of vampire “vegans”, feasting only on animals and not humans.

Eclipse opens up with Bella having to make a choice, Jacob or Edward. Jacob is a member of an Native American tribe that has been at war with vampires since the 1800s, and they can shape shift into wolves. And not normal wolves, somehow a 200 pound guy can shape shift into a 600 pound wolf the size of a cow.

Eclipse ends with Bella having to make a choice, Jacob or Edward. It’s like two hours are sucked out of you, and nothing really happened. In the middle, the wolves and the Cullen’s make a peace pact to protect Bella from Victoria and her Newborn army. A fight scene breaks out, too many guys are walking around without a shirt, and then Victoria is killed along with all the Newborns.

The one bright spot was the Klingon High Commmand, I mean, the vampire high command, the Voltari. A sadistic group of vampires with special abilities led by Dakota Fanning. This group keeps the Vampires a secret. And btw, it’s really easy to tell the good vampires from the bad vampires. The bad ones have red eyes where as the good ones have orange eyes. The Voltari thinks Bella knows too much, so she must either become a vampire or die. Mercy is not in their vocabulary. That should be fun.

I cannot recommend this movie to any guy, and I don’t understand its appeal with women. I thought humor was the number one attractive quality that women seek in mates, but neither Jacob nor Edward have a funny bone in their body. In fact, Alice is the only person in the entire movie that isn’t brooding. The eye candy for women isn’t enough to overlook the 1-dimensional characters, cheap production values, and the fact that nothing really happens.

Netflix Instant Streaming has the complete Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel series. Go watch them instead. I’m going to do that just to block this horrible rendition of vampires out of my mind!

Tony Alleyne has spent eight years recreating scenes from the cult sci-fi show at his studio apartment.

But what started as a therapeutic hobby for the 56-year-old devotee, following a painful divorce from his wife, has led him to deck the whole property out as the Star Trek Voyager.

The amazing thing is that he was divorced from his wife and then re-did his apartment, instead of the other way around.

The easiest email could possibly be.

As more and more everyday communication takes place over email, lots of people have complained about how hard it is to read and respond to every message. This is because they actually read and respond to all their messages.

With Gmail autopilot no longer do you have to worry about actually creating a response. Using technology from Eliza and the CADIE project, Google will craft automated responses in your style. You can adjust for capitalization, typos, brevity and emoticon use.

On Sunday the Arizona Science Center will open “Star Trek: The Exhibition,” a 12,500-square-foot collection of re-creations, sets, costumes and props from all five Star Trek TV series and 10 films over the last 40 years.

Unfortunately, Star Trek descending down on Phoenix will not be without casualties:

Thursday morning the Apache Junction High School Star Trek Club will don their Starfleet best on site in Phoenix with the Fox 10 morning crew to help promote the event.

BudgetXL is designed to help you keep track of all the cash purchases (or credit card and other purchases if you want) that you do during a day. It has an email interface that you can use from your favorite email account or through text messaging (which is how I use it). There is more information on the website. Most cell phone providers provide a text messaging to email interface that you can use from your phone. For example, under Verizon, I can just put the email address in as the recipient and it sends the email.

If you get a chance, try it out at http://budgetxl.com/ and let me know of what issues you see and what can be improved. When you sign up you’ll need to use the code “bitsmack” (without the quotes).

Thanks for the help!

Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe has gone gold today, Midway announced, putting the fighting game on track to ship for both PlayStation 3 and Xbox 360 on Nov. 16

I’m hoping this is a pretty sweet game, but of course I won’t get it until it drops to $20. And I’m really curious how competitive Lex Luthor is going to be in a fighting game, he’s never struck me as the physical type.