Alright, so last week I went with the Bitsmack guys and some friends to see the midnight showing of Watchmen.

Biggest. Mistake. EVER.

First off, I’m old. Not old as in my age, old as in my body. Around 11:30 I started feeling really tired. I wasn’t really that interested in seeing the movie, since I knew nothing about the comic, so I figured if it was really boring, I’d just sleep.

The movie starts with someone you can’t see beating the crap out of Denny from Grey’s Anatomy. So he died (again). A guy in a mask with ever changing ink blots on it (it’s like the world’s most boring kaleidoscope) gets pissed and spends the rest of the movie trying to figure out who killed him.

Apparently there was a first generation of these superheroes, and a second generation. Denny was first generation. Everyone else the movie focused on was second generation. Everyone else was dead, or something, except for one woman, who’s daughter was in the second generation (Silk Spectre). There was a lot of information in the beginning that was completely useless. One of the first generation heroes was a goth dyke. You see her for all of 10 seconds. She’s never mentioned, and there’s no second generation version of her. So….why waste film showing her making out with some chick, and then the next scene she and her girlfriend are dead? Pointless.

There’s also a blue man, Dr. Manhattan. He’s dating the second generation of Silk Spectre. He’s pretty creepy. First off, his penis is just hanging out for the world to see. If you’re over the age of 2, it’s completely unacceptable to have your wang out. Sorry. And then later while he and SS2 are trying to have sex, he created two or three of himself to get her going while another one was doing work. A little insulting, but still, really creepy. And seriously, weirdest three-way ever.

About 30-40 minutes into the movie, I was completely bored, and I was even more tired, so I tried to sleep. Unfortunately, the movie was really loud, so every time I started to drift off, there was an explosion or something, and I was awake again.

Overall, it was pretty uninteresting. Nothing happened in the movie that made me want to pay attention and see what happened next. And it was long. Like, really, REALLY long. About an hour longer than it needed to be (and I’ve found males and females who’ve agreed with me on that). There was one point when I thought everything was wrapped up, and then it kept going. Then they wrapped up more stuff that was so unmemorable that I’d forgotten they’d even mentioned it, so I thought it was over then. And then I got to see SS2 naked. Fantastic. I’m sure every guy in the theater got sprung. I, however, looked at my phone to check the time, then prayed for death.

After the torture of thinking 2-3 more times it was over when it wasn’t, it FINALLY ended. I’m one of those people who likes to sit through the credits. I was out of that theater as quickly as I could get through the crowd. And then listened to Russ and Ryan argue about how the ending was different than the comic, and which was better.

It was a boy movie. Most of the girls I’ve talked to who’ve seen it didn’t really like it (some did, most didn’t), and all the guys loved it. I don’t get it. I don’t care to. But the good news is, Russ owes me a chick flick.

4 = own it 3 = rent it 2 = watch it on tv while doing other things 1 = watch it just to make fun of how terrible it is 0 = never watch under any circumstances no matter how curious you are

If you are a male and like comics, depending on how much you liked the comic, 3 or 4.

If you are a male and like violent movies, 4.

If you are a female geek, 3.

If you are an average guy, 2.

If you are a girly-girl or a gay male, 0.

Grey’s Anatomy/Private Practice Crossover Extravaganza!!!

I started to write a recap for last week’s, but the episode weren’t really crossed over. It was more setup than anything else. Plus, there was so much going on, just my Grey’s recap was about 60 paragraphs long. I tried to slim it down this time, and keep it brief. But this was two hours, so yeah, it’s long.

Note: I have absolutely no medical training or anything like that, so I don’t know the correct terminology, and even when they say it, there’s no way I could actually spell the names of these illnesses and diseases and treatments and what not. I’m very big on correct spelling, so I’m not going to attempt it. I’m going to just write it how it makes sense to me. [/disclaimer]

continue reading "Grey’s Anatomy/Private Practice Crossover Recap"

So Russ (I don’t call him RC) has been saying for a month or so that I should start writing for Bitsmack. He thinks that because I’m a girl and not a geek, people will actually be interested in what I have to say. We’ll see how that goes. My first “assignment” was to recap the season premiere of “Lost”.

Let me preface this recap by saying that I’ve only seen, like, 5 episodes of “Lost” before. I used to occasionally watch it with my old boyfriend Jason and our roommate Justin. I was always confused, and I always tried to ask questions, but Jason would always hold up his hand and say, “Shh, Lost is on.” By the time the commercial break came, I couldn’t remember what my original question was, because I had a bunch of new ones. Russ and I watched a Dane Cook stand up the other day, and he said “Lost” was his favorite show, but he was always thinking, “WTF is going on? I have a million questions, and no answers.” That’s exactly how I felt, and I’d only seen a few episodes. I don’t know how people can keep watching it. Not because it’s a bad show, because it just doesn’t make any sense.

That being said, this is my take on the season premiere.

continue reading "Lost Season Premiere Recap"