BSPC-051117 - Bitsmack and the Goblet of Crap

This is the Bitsmack Podcast for November 17, 2005

Song of the Week: Bracket - Everyone is Telling Me I’ll Never Win, If I Fall In Love With A Girl From Marin

Star Wars Transformers
Video Datin Comes to iPod
Xbox 360 backwards-compatisuck

More about Kryptonite after the jump…

For God’s sake if you put this on the air don’t run it through simpletext.

Okay, despite popular belief, Kryptonite is not just a piece of
Krypton that tagged along with clark’s ship. Kryptonians had a
universal element that they used for basically everything, much like
we use iron, called Kryptonium (they weren’t big with the creative
names for stuff). The increasing pressures that would eventually cause
Krypton to explode caused Kryptonium to transmute into Kryptonite, and
it was deadly to Kryptonians even on Krypton (say this 5 times fast).
When the planet exploded, the planets core was basically just one big
hulking peice of kryptonite.

As for the different colors of Kryptonite, there are several. There
were more in Pre-crisis(Crisis refers to when the DC Comics universe
reset itself into its current continuity years back in the Infinite
Crisis comic books series) than there are now in the current
continuity.

Green K - Green Kryptonite forces superman’s solar reserves to empty
rapidly, leaving him mostly powerless. It also causes intense physical
pain and with enough exposure, death.

Red K - The comics variety of Red K caused random effects to Superman,
and it was always temporary and non-fatal, and was often the source of
joke comics rather than serious plots. It was created by Mr. Myxlptlk
in the 5th Demension in order to fuck with Supes.

Gold K - Potentially the most dangerous, this will remove a
Kryptonians Superpowers permenantly.

Blue K - This is a version of Kryptonite that affects Bizarro, who is
immune to the effects of Green K.

White K - Kill plant life…

Jewel K - This allows a Kryptonian to detonate explosives with a
thought (No, I’m fucking serious. This was back in the super-campy
comics Pre-Crisis)

X-K - Gives a normal creature super-powers. This is how super-girls
cat Streaky got superpowers.

K+ - Kryptonite Plus is a more potent form of Green K.

Anti K - Harms non-superpowered Kryptonians (those who have not been
exposed to a yellow sun) This actually came about as a continuity
error, there was a Kryptonian city floating in space, which the rock
portion was composed entirely of Green K, the city was protected by
lead shielding) They floated into a yellow sun system, and one of the
Kryptonians flew out and shoved the city the other direction, taking
them out of the system and thus no more powers. When someone asked why
the Kryptonite didn’t hurt him, they bullshitted that it was Anti K

Silver K - Doesn’t actually exist ,but was mentioned once. For
Superman’s 25th aniversary(Silver Anniversary), they had a story where
Jimmy Olsen and Prof. Potter pretending to make Silver Kryptonite, and
Supes was concerned because he didn’t know what it would do, but it
turned out they were just throwing him a party and the rest was just
to throw him off. I know its lame, comics in that time were lame.

There were a couple other one shot version, but honestly, do we
fucking need any more?

As for the current continuity, they reset down to just Green K and a
couple others, but recently when the new Supergirl arrived on earth in
the Superman/Batman comic series, she brought with her a whole
shitload of new colors of Kryptonite, so who knows what the hell they
are going to come up with next.